Ever since I decided I was going “natural”, I believed I had what it took my make my hair like others I’ve seen. I wanted to be seen as a person with ‘good hair’ (stupid, I know). I thought I would succeed with flying colors. On Dec 13th, 2011 I decided to follow my little Chi and do my big chop.
Chi was super young and I asked her what she would like me to do with her hair the following November. She said “Can you cut it? I wanna poof” . Her hair at this point was permed, dry and dammaged. She would ask why she didn’t have long flowing hair like the girls at school. After I gave the “you are beautiful the way you are” speech, she later asked me to cut it. So, I did… and I wont lie… at first, I was not a big fan. I was mad at myself and thought she wouldn’t like it (no mirrors until the cut was done). But, like the picture, she smiled. She loved it. She wanted to wear earrings again and all.
Such courage, my Chi has. So, a month later, I followed suit. I thought it would be easy. I thought, short, it would only take me a few minutes to do my hair in the morning. Boy was I wrong…
In the beginning there wasn’t much of a curl- just a lot of gel, hope, and prayer. I felt really good about it though. There were many days filled with a curl here and there. But there were more days of loving it and experimenting with it. An oil here, a homemade flax seed gel there. Creams or butters? “Silicone” this and “Curly girl method” that. There were a lot of days trying to figure out the best way to do my hair and save time. I had so many days filled with frustration and tears. That’s when I decided to stop comparing myself to other naturals. I loved them all, but I forgot all the time that MY hair was different. And at first I wasn’t quite sure what to do. It was just doing more harm than good and turning me into a product junkie in the wrong way. But once I stopped feeling sorry for myself, my psoriasis and tried new things, it started to look up for me and Chi.
Chi loved her hair changes. The different ways I did it and the time we spent together every Sunday during “doo time” (Harry Potter Day, anyone? J ) Everyone complemented her in a great way and watched her blossom. I later paid for that though. >:-p) As for me, my curls were piglet tails and I loved it. I could gel it one day and make it last a week – which is great for a full time single mom – at least at the time.
Then there came the major mid stage : the beautiful curls but the lack of length. Issues with dryness and the ‘routines’ – don’t even get me started. But when I stayed up on it, our hair looked great and I couldn’t wait to watch it grow.
Though Chi was a little tender-headed, she loved the results of her hair and I loved her more. So, I spent the time, tired and all, and made sure she looked her best at school … most of the time. 😉 Her extreme happiness made me extremely happy. Then, came the big move part two back to Florida and my fairy
tale – meeting the love of my life and having another baby (now 3 months). Before Little Opa was born, I noticed – though the curls were beautiful – they were time consuming. So, imagine three times a week spending two hours on a style, wash, and sometimes the L.O.C Method. Now, times that by two (me). Not only that, I really wanted to see my length growth. And with me having a newborn in the house, there was no way I was going to manage AND keep up with the hair for us both. So, I decided to do something different – for length and for saving time once the little ninja was born.
We are now both texturized and Loving it. The time it takes to do our hair is cut in half and then some. Not only that, the amount of product we use is cut in half as well – saving me loads of (couponed) money.
In addition to this, I’m seeing my hair in a different light and I see hair care in a whole new way. I feel ashamed for feeling the way I did about betraying ‘natural chics’ and thinking all chemicals are bad (well, they kinda are). But on the flip side, who cares what we do to our hair. Who cares if we don’t look like the beautiful people on the cream bottles and boxes everywhere. But That’s the beauty of it. We all have our own personal brand of perfect and there is nothing more rewarding or fun than unlocking that perfect. Four years later and we are still on out way. I have dreams on long locks. I’m thinking more … <– Courtesy of MARVEL.COM
Yeah, that’s more like it. Inside and out. L